Sunday, May 29, 2011

boys; when they're not asking you for what you think they are

to tell the truth, i've been approached by lots of men boys secretly over the years.

yeah i'm sorry but turn off your dundundun music cue cuz it's not what you think it is. 
what i mean by 'approached' is that lots of them had come up to me to seek advice. be it about love, friendship, career, sex relationship, education. so what i'm trying to say is i don't know if i'm just special or this seems to be proving my boys-don't-take-what-girls-has-to-say-seriously point of view wrong.

okay so for some other girls who might be facing the same situation as i am, or seemed to, here's one piece of valuable advice: don't take it personally. 

seriously, yes. personally, no.

because boys have a one-way mind, so sometimes what they're asking really is what they're asking (cue sometimes) or telling. it's easy to get drifted off when they're trusting you with their most personal problem, it makes you felt needed, i know. so avoid making it into unnecessary drama, just offer them what you genuinely feel and has to say about their problem and leave it at that. because that's what they need the most; less drama. when people tells you about their problem the main role you have to play is not the solver, but it's the listener. and this applies to everyone in general, not just boys.

as for me i've listened a lot to what boys have to say and you name it, i've listened through almost everything from very personal to very uhm, disturbing. some involving something as personal as family matter, and some involving something as personal as sex. yeah if there's one thing i'm going to be proud about it's my diversity lol.

so what makes boys seeking advice from girls? popular answer would be; "he's just trying to get in yo pants, lol" but i'm gonna take this from the rational side: because you're a girl. (yeah cue whutt? you're kidding me right?) lol i'm not kidding you. this is actually a fact that even most boys didn't realize themselves; they actually long for girls point of view, especially if it's something regarding our own XY gender lol.

sometimes it's a little hard for them to talk about these emotion-involved thingy with their own friends because boys just simply don't do this emo shit. even if they do, they'll mostly just pass it like; "oh, that sucks" "i feel for ya, man" "booze?" which didn't really help even with alcohol or video games.
so when they finally do find the perfect person they can tell their dilemmas to, it's you aka the girl, and the FRIEND (that has to be in capital, keep it in mind) because only girls that could understand and deal with these emotion things, while being completely static without complicating things further. yeah that kind of female friend is very hard to find so if you girls find yourself in this similar situation please, don't fuck it up by making it into /your/ drama involving your feelings or whatsoever. believe me when i say it happened to me before at one point and that didn't really end well.

so brace yourself when they're singing praises about how amazingly understanding you are, or that they had never met a girl like you, yadayadayada, because those are the dangerous holes that you shouldn't fall in. that's kinda the downside of this, because you being girl (and being amazing at the same time) didn't really work well with this boy-girl-friendship thing. it's so easy to get side-tracked so you, as the one-not-in-problem should take a guard on it.

so the main point of this tl;dr post is: don't turn their insecurities to be your insecurity. 

while i'm not the boy-expert or anything like that, this is the least i could offer to rid you of unnecessary dramas (pretty ironic, being one who makes the most out of it sometimes. uhum.)

have your own say on this topic? forward it in the comment below :)


  1. wow.haha.

    true, they are things that I can only talk with a girl if I wish to get a reply that doesn't start with "errrrr, whutt??"

    Like this entry. A lot. :)

  2. @AslamTaslim haha thank you.
    actually this entry already got side-tracked, i didn't mean it to turned out this way lol;